Brands as Beers

by Oct 22, 2021

For the past five years, the UK has seen a sharp growth in the number of breweries. In 2020 the number of breweries in the country went up by 216, with the total now standing at 3,018. 

This got us thinking, will this continue to grow to a point where established brands dip into the market to keep the thirsty country afloat? 

What would they look like? How would they taste? Who would buy them?

Well we have had a go at predicting the future, designing our own beers for various different companies who might even one day try creating their own.

Amazon Basics Brews Lager

Amazon Basics Lager is a light and refreshing beer. Brewed using prime ingredients, it has a shimmering golden colour and a smooth bitter flavour with hints of sweetness creeping through in the aftertaste. It’s light and easy going down and will have you coming back to it time and time again.

Available worldwide, this universally found lager is a staple of every session and can be found online or in stores for whenever you need it.

ABV 3.9%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Light and refreshing with a smooth bitter flavour and a gentle sweeter aftertaste
Style Lager

 

Pretty Green Live Forever PILSNER

The Live Forever Pilsner from Pretty Green is the perfect drink for the casual drinker. Designed to be enjoyed warm at a festival or gig, it is ideally served in a (recycled) plastic cup. If you have had enough of it, or if your favourite song comes on, the drink is perfect for throwing into a crowd of unsuspecting people. Available in a wide range of mesmerising designs, the special edition also comes with a bucket hat fitted.

ABV 3.8%
Can Size 568ml
Tasting Note Crisp bitterness and distinctive hops
Style Pilsner

Apple iPA

There is nothing better than a fresh can of the Apple IPA on a summer day. It’s smooth and flavourful with fruity notes ticking all the right boxes. Be sure to enjoy it while it’s cold and fresh as the longer you leave it, more of the goodness starts to escape. Of course it’s nothing that a fresh can can’t fix so be sure to keep a couple of spares on hand.

Available in select Apple Genius Bars.

ABV 4.8%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Crisp and refreshing with flavourful fruity notes
Style IPA

SPORTS DIRECT BROWN ALE

Brewed using efficient and low-cost methods, the Sports Direct Brown Ale leaves a bitter taste in the mouth – especially for Newcastle United supporters. Having bought out a number of smaller breweries, the Sports Direct Group currently produce a versatile range of beers that all look and taste similar. The Brown Ale is best served in Sports Direct’s bespoke range of unlicenced sports team pint glass – the one that your estranged uncle generously gifted to you at Christmas.

(Note: Look out for Flannels, our premium sister range of gins. Unaffordable prices and even we don’t know why!)

 

 

ABV 4.2%
Can Size 567ml
Tasting Note Dark and Bitter.
Style Brown Ale

Insta Pale Ale

The Insta-Pale Ale is a light and crisp West Coast Pale Ale. It brings aromas of sweet summery fruits and is light in body and colour. The taste is pleasantly light and hoppy which, when combined with the aroma, makes a great choice for any summer beach outings.

Only available in artisanal bars & establishments.

ABV 4.3%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Sweet and summery with a light and fruity body
Style West Coast Pale Ale

Games Workshop Stout

The deep Games Workshop Stout has complex and fantastical aromas and flavours designed to take your tastebuds on an adventure. The strong ABV% is designed to help you reach another realm. The Stout Cans come in a range of different sizes, starting with the special figurine shot ranging up to the Ogre double pinter can. Can’s come with free paint for you to carefully apply to the design. Best served in a dark environment – the less natural light the better.

ABV 6.4%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Dark chocolate and aromatic notes
Style Stout

Deliveroo Instant Pale Ale

Quick and easy refreshment delivered to your door. Once ordered through the Deliveroo Drinks app, your order becomes a priority. Our efficient bicycle couriers travel perilously at high speed through urban assault courses for your refreshment needs. On average you will receive your order ten times quicker than the average cocktail bar. (Note: Due to transportation the can may explode upon opening. Only available in large towns and cities.)

ABV 4.5%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Moreish and refreshing 
Style Pale Ale

Netflix Lager

Dark in colour but surprisingly light and refreshing, this Lager keeps you coming back for more all day long. Whether you are a seasoned connoisseur or a casual drinker, this appeals to all with a smooth and approachable flavour profile rather than off putting hints of stranger things. Makes for a perfect answer for the age old question, “what should I have?”

Available online for a fixed monthly subscription with a free trial available. Best served chilled to really take the crown on those summer days!

ABV 5.2%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Smooth and light with a full flavour profile
Style Lager

IKEA Tuff Öl

The IKEA Tuff Ol is a DIY rich & hearty stout perfect for those long winter nights. In the box you get everything you need to craft your own pint in no time. Simply follow the instructions and use the included tools and you’ll be revelling in your success before you know it.

Available in select stores, 10% off when you purchase meatballs from the cafeteria.

ABV 6.3%
Can Size 330ml
Tasting Note Hearty stout with a deep nectary flavour
Style

Scandinavian Stout

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